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Guns and Cigarettes 

I grew up in a house without guns. My parents are artists, they love a beautiful aria and a good book. We were not a hunting family, we didn’t even fish. I don’t recall one single conversation about guns. Their absence was entirely normal to me, in my quiet mostly white and Asian suburban world. I was mildly intrigued by the idea, the power and masculinity they seemed to imbue, but having little interest in sports or much of an inclination towards activities that required good aim, they left my mind as breezily as they went in. It didn’t occur to me what the black and brown kids who lived on the other side of the freeway thought about guns until I was much older. I found myself drawn to a different symbol of masculine self-reliance – cigarettes.

Visiting my brother in rural Ohio, I remember going into a gun store at the end of a quaint little collection of stores selling quilts, Amish furniture, antiques and the like. My brother and I, having never really been in a store that sold guns, went inside to look around. My father followed us in. At 5’10” in his Puma sneakers, with his hands in his pockets looking around, he smiled an expression that was not a smile, and he turned around and walked out. Something about that small moment struck me – the look on his face was a knowing look, with more than a hint of resentment and disapproval. He looked culturally out of place in that store, and he probably felt that way too. My father, who loves nothing more than puttering around the house and to fall into a nap with a spy novel and a cat at his feet, who will weep at the sound of a beautiful solo tenor or a chorus of children’s voices, exuded a particular version of masculinity to me, as his child. He has many traditionally masculine traits – he loves baseball and tools, women and woodworking, he was in the army reserves and was a pretty good shot. He was even pretty rageful and scary in his drinking years. But the unarmed, emotionally minded, gentle masculinity was what was passed on to me.

It is difficult to come to terms with the privilege I now know it to be, to be able to grow up in a world with not even the faintest fear of gun violence. It’s so easy for me to take a moral high ground and make a grand statement that I will never own a gun. That sentiment reminds me of the snarky comments I often received by those who clearly disapproved of my cigarette smoking and the effect it had on others. It was an obvious cultural difference between us, and I indignantly disregarded their comments. The gun lobby and the tobacco lobby share many similar traits – the stalling and hiding of science showing the heath risks involved in their products, the appeals to libertarian freedom of choice, invoking images of rebellious individuality, and the stoking of culture wars to keep the sales flowing. For both industries, it is ultimately about profit. I grew up in a world where cigarettes weren’t smoked in front of children, but was still something adults seem to enjoy, or was at least acceptable to do. I cringe at the thought of all the butts I threw from my car window, and all the youthful eyes that watched me smoke. My depression and anxiety had me searching the ashtrays in front of restaurants as a teen, and I have given god knows how much money to the tobacco billionaires, all for a cultural and chemical coping mechanism. Clearly guns and cigarettes are different animals, but both are animals none the less.

I could go down so many rabbit holes on this topic – how the relentless sales of arms has fueled the ridiculous violence we are seeing in the world, a musing on the human propensity to take a life, white privilege and guns, the sadness around so many unnecessary deaths cause by both guns and cigarettes… I could write about how I think regulating gun sales actually helps strengthen responsible gun ownership (look at Canada, look at regulation of driving cars), and speculate on how far past that point we are. Many, many rabbit holes. But what I sit here with is just the enormity of our shared predicament, and the powerlessness I feel to affect it as a single individual. It is a hugely complex issue that is interconnected to so much else, with no quick fix or sound bite slogan. Like the reality of poverty, its causes and solutions are multifaceted, requiring effort from all angles to even get it to budge. A myopic attack of one small variable will not move it.

When did you first experience guns? What was the culture surrounding them in your world as a child? Do tell 🙂

j


TDoR 2015 

On Trans Day of Remembrance this year of 2015, in the midst of picking up the pieces from yet another defeat in my struggle for sobriety (sanity, life itself), I am wondering how many folks who’s names will be read aloud tonight struggled with drugs and alcohol. I’m wondering how many trans/gender non-conforming folks lost their lives this year to an overdose, liver disease, car accidents, diseases transmitted through drug use, or took their own lives under the influence or with the compounding stress of being trans and suffering from addiction. I have had the honor to know a few of them, before they left us too soon.

I recognize that, except for a few variables in my life, I could very well be a part of that statistic. I have been to rehab three times. I have had access to counseling and psychiatric medication, on which I heavily rely. I have a supportive family that has never given up on me. I was introduced to 12 step early on and have always felt safe there. I was able to transition at 22. I am white. I am seen in the world as a relatively normative male. I can hardly wrap my head around what my life would have been like if any of these variables were different. It’s hard to say if I would be alive today. In these troubled times in my life, I am often amazed that I am still alive, good variables and all.

So this year, my heart and my thoughts go out to all the trans/etc folks who have lost the battle with addiction and mental health. My heart and thoughts go out to those who are alive and still struggling, to those who are still alive but feel hopeless, and to all those who love them. May all the good vibes sent out today give us all the strength and courage to get through one more day.

j


An Attitude of Gratitude 

Hey folks!

 

I was in such a flurry to get the album done and get out of town on time, I haven’t had a minute to reflect on the process and give thanks where they are due. Scrambling out of the house, I took my ever-more beloved drive on highway 50 through NV and UT, jumping on I 70 in CO, and I finally had a chance to breathe. Now nestled in Rist Canyon, up the hill from Fort Collins, I’m watching the aspen leaves flutter in the cold morning breeze set against hills of pines and a moody sky. There are two kittens exploring my guitars by the wood burning stove, prayer flags happily hanging.

IMG_5187

I had some unexpected snafus come up at the most inconvenient time in the album-birthing process, and I am still fairly rattled. But – I got to see Mary Gauthier play last night at Avo’s in Fort Collins, and I’m starting to remember why I do this song thing in the first place. Making an album with all your guts spilled in it can feel like taking a picture of your butt and posting it on the internet.. and I’m used to there being two butts in the photo at least. It was a lot harder emotionally than I expected, all technical aspects aside.

Speaking of technical aspects – I want to give a HUGE thank you to Michael Connolly at Empty Sea Studios, who’s mind-boggling instrumentalist skills really brought out the character in the songs and made them come alive – not to mention the mixing and mastering, and doing it all remotely from Seattle. No big deal. Thank you Michael!

I’d also like to thank Ingrid Elizabeth, for showing me the ropes on this tour booking thing. I swear – if we hadn’t gone out in our RV and do what we did, I wouldn’t have known that this is even possible – (book a tour your damn self and then get in your unreliable vehicle and go do it.. are you crazy?!) I’m certainly not stellar at it, but it’s happening none the less. Thanks Ings :)

Coincidentally, the above two folks happen to be my Coyote Grace bandmates, and making an album without them was a strange experience. First off – there are so many damn decisions to make, artistic and otherwise, and it really lightens the load when you dont have to make all of them. Second, as I mentioned above, it’s nice to not be the only butt in the photo. And so many other lessons. Many people have asked about the status of Coyote Grace and whether or not we will be playing shows, and the short answer is – yes, Coyote Grace is alive and well, and no, we dont know when they will be back around. Joe is out and about with his solo project, Ingrid and Ty are gearing up for the Big Day, and Michael is busy recording everyone in Seattle. We will see what the future will bring. Or, from a great movie – “I dont know, it’s a mystery.” Here’s to the road, homies.

IMG_0777 editI also want to send my sincerest gratitude to all the music supporters out there, friends, family, and fans, all yall. Music is a reciprocal thing, it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. The songs dont really come alive and grow until they are shared. Keeping up in this industry, with all the new media outlets to be monitored, can obscure the true nature of the exchange that we do it all for, but not for long. Thank you everyone, for listening, supporting, and helping the songs grow wings and get on their way to do their work.

I would be remiss if I didn’t also thank Shaleece Haas, director of the documentary Real Boy that is beginning to make itself known to the world. While following me with a camera for over two years, we have become great friends, and her moral support has been invaluable. I tend not to reach out until it is an emergency, and then the poor person I reach out to has to deal with not just a stressed out friend, but an emergency. I’m working on it.. Thank you so much Shaleece. And of course, my parents, the musicians who cheer on their musical offspring with all the zeal they have. Thank you, thank you :)

And to the one who was always behind the scenes, with me through the whole damn thing, my sweet ladyfriend. I am no small handful, and this lady dealt with me with grace. Thanks, baby :)IMG_4676

I am looking forward to a week at the Rocky Mountain Song School to connect with a great community of music folks, and get caught up on some projects. The CDs arrive tomorrow……….!!! I wont believe it till I see them. The first leg of the tour has begun. Here goes nothing!

An Attitude of Gratitude 

Hey folks!

I was in such a flurry to get the album done and get out of town on time, I haven’t had a minute to reflect on the process and give thanks where they are due. Scrambling out of the house, I took my ever-more beloved drive on highway 50 through NV and UT, jumping on I 70 in CO, and I finally had a chance to breathe. Now nestled in Rist Canyon, up the hill from Fort Collins, I’m watching the aspen leaves flutter in the cold morning breeze set against hills of pines and a moody sky. There are two kittens exploring my guitars by the wood burning stove, prayer flags happily hanging.

IMG_5187

I had some unexpected snafus come up at the most inconvenient time in the album-birthing process, and I am still fairly rattled. But – I got to see Mary Gauthier play last night at Avo’s in Fort Collins, and I’m starting to remember why I do this song thing in the first place. Making an album with all your guts spilled in it can feel like taking a picture of your butt and posting it on the internet.. and I’m used to there being two butts in the photo at least. It was a lot harder emotionally than I expected, all technical aspects aside.

Speaking of technical aspects – I want to give a HUGE thank you to Michael Connolly at Empty Sea Studios, who’s mind-boggling instrumentalist skills really brought out the character in the songs and made them come alive – not to mention the mixing and mastering, and doing it all remotely from Seattle. No big deal. Thank you Michael!

I’d also like to thank Ingrid Elizabeth, for showing me the ropes on this tour booking thing. I swear – if we hadn’t gone out in our RV and do what we did, I wouldn’t have known that this is even possible – (book a tour your damn self and then get in your unreliable vehicle and go do it.. are you crazy?!) I’m certainly not stellar at it, but it’s happening none the less. Thanks Ings 🙂

Coincidentally, the above two folks happen to be my Coyote Grace bandmates, and making an album without them was a strange experience. First off – there are so many damn decisions to make, artistic and otherwise, and it really lightens the load when you dont have to make all of them. Second, as I mentioned above, it’s nice to not be the only butt in the photo. And so many other lessons. Many people have asked about the status of Coyote Grace and whether or not we will be playing shows, and the short answer is – yes, Coyote Grace is alive and well, and no, we dont know when they will be back around. Joe is out and about with his solo project, Ingrid and Ty are gearing up for the Big Day, and Michael is busy recording everyone in Seattle. We will see what the future will bring. Or, from a great movie – “I dont know, it’s a mystery.” Here’s to the road, homies.

IMG_0777 editI also want to send my sincerest gratitude to all the music supporters out there, friends, family, and fans, all yall. Music is a reciprocal thing, it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. The songs dont really come alive and grow until they are shared. Keeping up in this industry, with all the new media outlets to be monitored, can obscure the true nature of the exchange that we do it all for, but not for long. Thank you everyone, for listening, supporting, and helping the songs grow wings and get on their way to do their work.

I would be remiss if I didn’t also thank Shaleece Haas, director of the documentary Real Boy that is beginning to make itself known to the world. While following me with a camera for over two years, we have become great friends, and her moral support has been invaluable. I tend not to reach out until it is an emergency, and then the poor person I reach out to has to deal with not just a stressed out friend, but an emergency. I’m working on it.. Thank you so much Shaleece. And of course, my parents, the musicians who cheer on their musical offspring with all the zeal they have. Thank you, thank you 🙂

And to the one who was always behind the scenes, with me through the whole damn thing, my sweet ladyfriend. I am no small handful, and this lady dealt with me with grace. Thanks, baby 🙂IMG_4676

I am looking forward to a week at the Rocky Mountain Song School to connect with a great community of music folks, and get caught up on some projects. The CDs arrive tomorrow……….!!! I wont believe it till I see them. The first leg of the tour has begun. Here goes nothing!

 

j


Last Man Standing hits the road!! 

LMS Cover

 

Hello Friends!!

I am packing the van as we type, getting ready to roll out to CO tomorrow evening. The new albums will meet me there, just in time for the first show! Which is, if you’re wondering:

Jensen Guitars
350 Main St
Longmont CO

@7pm with Jill B!

I have booked a long string of shows to Boston and back, check out the shows tab to find a show near you. This process has been quite a roller coaster ride and I have hung on for dear life. If you would like to be a part of the tour in one way or another, here are a few things you can do (in rainbow fabulousness).

*Spread the Word! Share announcements, tweet, blow up your mailing list, or otherwise flood the web-verse with info, calling all song folks to the fold. Bring your friends, bring your enemies, all are welcome! Wanna help me sell merch? Let me know!

*Keep Joe Sober! Do you have a favorite meeting, friends of Bill? I would love to join you. Send me an email with your town and meeting info, I would love to connect.

*Feed a Feral Folk Musician! I am thoroughly exhausted after the birthing of this album – take me to dinner, take me to lunch, I would love the good company as well as the calories! Calories for the van are welcome as well, the old Greenroom is valiantly passing 230,000 miles and can get hangry.. Laundry, showers, and trail mix are always welcome as well 🙂

*Get the Album Online! They will be available via CDBaby, iTunes, and all the usual sources starting very soon, I’ll keep you posted.

*Host a Songwriting or Guitar/Voice Workshop, a Song Circle, or an In-Person Private Guitar/Voice/Banjo/Songwriting Lesson! I have some free days on the way from here to there, and I would love to connect and make some music with yall, send me an email if you’re interested!

*Book Me! I would be honored to play at your birthday, speak at your school, sing at your cafe, chat on your radio station. If you see a hole in my schedule and would like me to swing by, let me know!

The thank you albums will be sent out some time this month (I will have to send them home to be re-sent to you). If you donated to my computer fund and haven’t sent me your address, please do so here. There were about 60 donators, and I only have around 25 addresses. I have put many a mile on this amazing machine since, and this tour/album wouldn’t be possible without it. I am grateful for you!

Here’s a list of some of the awesome folks I will be sharing shows with:

Jill Brzezicki
River Glen
V and the Dirty Pretty
Humble Tripe
Bethel Steele
Wormz and the Decomposers
Mandy Watts
Amber Darland
Misner and Smith

See you down the road!
Coyote Joe

 


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Previous events

Date Event Location
Real Boy Screening Crocker Art Museum, Sacramento, CA Crocker Art Museum, Sacramento, CA
Joe Stevens Jensen Guitar Company, Longmont, CO Jensen Guitar Company, Longmont, CO
Real Boy Screening TBA, St Louis, MO TBA, St Louis, MO
 —  — Joe Stevens TBA, Saugatuck, MI TBA, Saugatuck, MI
Joe Stevens and Dani Shay Stage 773, Chicago, IL Stage 773, Chicago, IL
Joe Stevens and Dani Shay Stage 773, Chicago, IL Stage 773, Chicago, IL
 —  — The Civility of Albert Cashier Stage 773, Chicago, IL Stage 773, Chicago, IL
Music in the Park Series with Megan Bee John Lacorte Amphitheater, Whitehall, OH John Lacorte Amphitheater, Whitehall, OH
Joe Stevens and Megan Bee Listing Loon, Cincinnati, OH Listing Loon, Cincinnati, OH
Joe Stevens and Megan Bee Eclipse Company Store and Craft Beer Hall, The Plains, OH Eclipse Company Store and Craft Beer Hall, The Plains, OH
 —  — Joe Stevens and Megan Bee Deer's Leap Winery, Geneva, OH Deer's Leap Winery, Geneva, OH
Arts & Minds Fest with Megan Bee Fur Peace Ranch , Pomeroy, OH Fur Peace Ranch , Pomeroy, OH
Albert Chashier Musical Workshop #3 Stage 773, Chicago, IL Stage 773, Chicago, IL
Oslo Pride Festival TBA, Oslo, Norway TBA, Oslo, Norway
Real Boy PBS Broadcast Party Los Angeles LGBT Center, Los Angeles, CA Los Angeles LGBT Center, Los Angeles, CA
Joe Stevens & Ben Wallace TBA, Rochester, NY TBA, Rochester, NY
Real Boy Screening TBA, Rochester, NY TBA, Rochester, NY
Real Boy Screening Real Boy: Independent Lens Screenings, San Fransisco, CA Real Boy: Independent Lens Screenings, San Fransisco, CA
Real Boy Screening TBA, Sacramento, CA TBA, Sacramento, CA
Real Boy Screening: Translations Film Festival Northwest Film Forum, Seattle, WA Northwest Film Forum, Seattle, WA
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